Episode #78: Good Leader Habits

We all know we are the product of our habits, yet we do nothing about elevating our behaviours. We also know that certain things work better with people than others and we should focus on the things that work best and make those our habit. But we don’t do that either. Instead we keep repeating the same errors every time. What did Einstein say? Repeating the same actions but expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. So we must be crazy then. Effective human relations principles are things we should firstly understand and secondly bolt on to our personal operating system, such that they become seamless habits that we employ without thought. Today we will look at just how to do that.

The Japanese government is about to introduce legislation requiring companies to set up protocols for preventing and dealing with abuses of power. Pawahara is the Japanese word for this taken from the English Power Harassment. It will take a year before the legislation comes into force for larger companies and three years for midsize and smaller companies. By the way, there are no penalties attached to the legislation. Complaints about Power Harassment have increase three times from twenty two thousand one hundred and fifty three cases in two thousand and six to seventy thousand, nine hundred and seventeen in two thousand and sixteen. Power Harassment is officially defined by the Government as the act of causing physical or emotional pain, or demoralizing the workforce by exploiting one’s position. The Labor Ministry had issued six examples: physical attacks, verbal abuse, deliberate isolation from other employees, making excessive demands, making too few demands and infringing on the privacy of others. In other news, Line corp and Mercari are joining forces on mobile payments. The operator of japan’s most popular messaging platform and the used-goods online marketplace app will let shoppers pay for purchases at stores that accept each other’s systems. They also launched an alliance to welcome other mobile payment providers. Line plans to introduce Line securities equities trading with Nomura Holdings this year if it receives the necessary permits. It is also looking at a banking tie up with Mizuho Financial Group in twenty twenty. Last November, Line announced an alliance with China’s Tencent Holdings and its WeChat Pay aimed at Chinese visitors to Japan. Finally, the Japan patent Office established the startup Support team last July to help startups protect their intellectual property faster. As part of their IP Acceleration Program for Startups they send specialists from their IP Mentoring Teams to the companies to assist them. Also restrictions were eased for super-accelerant patent examinations to speed up the process. It used to take an average of nine months to get a patent approved in two thousand and seventeen and this is now expected to shorten to around twenty four days. Progress

We are all the product of our habits. What we do regularly defines our level of success. Bad habits, good habits are all the same, in terms of the production of results, so the input point not the process, becomes very interesting for those wanting to succeed. How do we ensure that we are adding good habits and eliminating bad habits?

Part of the input process is selection of priorities. Going to the gym rather than the sports bar is a choice. Eating that donut rather than an apple is a choice. Discipline is a famed part of military life and various slacker generations are recommended compulsory military service as a way to fly straight. Where does this military discipline come from? Regular habits are a big part. Doing specific things at the precise same time, in the same way without variation instills habits. Doing things that must be done, regardless of how you feel about wanting to do them, instills disciplines, which become habits. You don’t have to join the military to garner good habits but becoming more disciplined is a big help.

Our biggest successes come from our ability to work with other people. There are very few professions where you can do everything on your own and don’t need the input, cooperation or contribution of others. However, we can pick up bad habits that damage our ability to garner that input, cooperation and collaboration. Here are a few bad habits we can eliminate if we want a smoother path to success.

ONE - Don’t make it your habit to complain to or about others.

When others complain about us to others and we hear about it, what is the usual reaction? Generally not good and animosities arise and can linger for many years, as the result of what is considered an unwarranted assault on our good name. Some people are pretty good haters and excellent at bearing a grudge. So if you want to create a blood feud, then start publically whining about your colleagues. If you have a beef with someone and you heroically decide to confront them with their failings, expose their inadequacies, and detail their insufficiencies then expect either the silent assassin who won’t say much but will be seeking revenge at the first opportunity or the instant combustible who will explode right there and then and counter attack ferociously. Very few individuals will look deep inside their heart, saint like, and admit their errors and bow to your superior and wiser judgment. You have just made an enemy for life. How about you? Do you have enemies for life or have you become someone else’s enemy for life?

If the chances of success in complaining about others are so low, then why do people persist in thinking they can right the world by drawing other’s attention to their failings? Habit and a major lack of self-awareness are culprits. Let’s stop doing that and instead find a more subtle way to draw attention to problems which allow that person to save face. Call out the error indirectly. The issue will be raised for discussion and solution but not the animosity. Make this your habit rather than a surgical first strike.

TWO - Help others to want what you want and make that style of communication your habit

When we are direct and assertive, it comes across like giving orders and few people like being told what to do. Yes, you can gain compliance and they will do it, if you are higher in the power structure, but you won’t win the hearts and minds to the cause. Let’s become a more skilled communicator and look for ways to stimulate self-discovery on their part that leads them to see the wisdom of the solution, that we have identified, as the best way forward. Questions are our friends here and statements our enemies. A statement will trigger resistance, whereas a well crafted question will lead to self-enlightenment. Make asking well thought out questions your habit, rather than firing off statements like missiles. Socrates was doing this back in ancient Greece, so there is nothing new about this concept.

THREE - Make it a habit to be a good listener, you will become more persuasive as a result

It sounds counter-intuitive doesn’t it, listening rather than telling your way to success. Hollywood has glorified the riveting, moving oratory that rouses the masses and points them in the same direction. In the real world of business leadership, this is a useful skill known only to a minuscule minority.

The vast majority will not be able to inspire their colleagues to man the barricades anytime soon, but with better human relations skills they can persuade them to do more mundane tasks like ensure the organisation goes forward and prospers. When we shut up and allow others to speak we learn a lot more than when we are doing al the talking. We already know what we know.

By listening, we uncover their desires, thoughts, attitudes, hot buttons, beliefs, fears, interests etc. By knowing each other better, we can become closer through better communication around points of agreement and shared interests. It is hard to disagree with someone you like. The reason you like them is because of those shared interest and ideas etc. The reason you know those things is because you weren’t always hogging the airwaves and doing all the talking.

The caveat here is that you are genuinely interested in them. A predatory listener, hoping to scoop up enough material to manipulate the other person into doing their bidding, is not a creating a success habit. People are not stupid and we can all spot fake interest pretty quickly. The wielder of the fake interest weapon will cut themselves to pieces, as others realize they cannot be trusted. As we all know, when you lose trust in business you are finished.

FOUR - Craft the appreciation habit

Self-centered people are always on about themselves and what they did and how great they are. They can linger long on their superior qualities and accomplishments but are rather parsimonious about recognizing the achievements of others. These people wonder why no one wants to help them and why they get so little cooperation. Flattery is not appreciation. It is a lie that is hoisted on its own petard pretty quickly. The fake praise alarm bells goes off inside our heads almost immediately we hear it, so it has zero impact, except to never trust the perpetrator. Honest and sincere appreciation is what resonates with us.

The reason we know it is genuine is because of the way it is communicated to us. General statements like “good job”, “well done” are in danger of setting off that mental “fake praise” alarm. We need to dig in deeper to what was good. When we select the action or behavior that was “good”, we now begin to make it real rather than dubious. Concrete examples add truth to our words and resonate with the listener. Tell them exactly what they did that was good and it will be real. Appreciate people as a habit and do it in some detail that makes it credible.

We are the sum of our habits and that sum determines our success with others. Habits can be learnt and cultivated at any stage in life. We will definitely have habits one way or another so why nor make a conscious choice to use these habits to be better with others for a smoother path and a happier life.

Some actions items going forward for good habit cultivation:

1. Don’t complain to or about others
2. Help others to want what you want
3. Become persuasive by being a good listener
4. Give honest, sincere appreciation