Episode #84: Habit Your Way To Success

Bad habits feed off laziness and inflexibility. Good habits need discipline, work, consistency. Which is precisely why we prefer to stick with our bad habits. Find out how to turn that around this week.

We are all the product of our habits. What we do regularly defines our level of success. Bad habits, good habits are all the same, in terms of the production of results, so the input point not the process, becomes very interesting for those wanting to succeed. How do we ensure that we are adding good habits and eliminating bad habits?

Part of the input process is selection of priorities. Going to the gym rather than the sports bar is a choice. Eating that donut rather than an apple is a choice. Doing specific things at the precise same time, in the same way without variation instills habits. Doing things that must be done, regardless of how you feel about wanting to do them, instills disciplines, which become habits.

Our biggest successes come from our ability to work with other people. We pick up bad habits that damage our ability to garner that input, cooperation and collaboration. Here are some good habits to cultivate if we want a smoother path to success.

1. Don’t make it your habit to complain to or about others.

When others complain about us to others and we hear about it, what is the usual reaction? Generally not good and animosities arise and can linger for many years, as the result of what is considered an unwarranted assault on our good name. So if you want to create a blood feud, then start publicly whining about your colleagues.

If the chances of success in complaining are so low, then why do people persist in thinking they can right the world by drawing other’s attention to their failings? Habit and a major lack of self-awareness are culprits. Call out the error indirectly. Make this your habit rather than a preemptive first strike.

2. Help others to want what you want and make that style of communication your habit

When we are direct and assertive, it comes across like giving orders and few people like being told what to do. Be a more skilled communicator and look for ways to stimulate self-discovery on their part, that leads them to see the wisdom of the solution, that we have identified as the best way forward.

3. Make it a habit to be a good listener, you will become more persuasive as a result.

It sounds counter-intuitive doesn’t it, listening rather than telling your way to success. We uncover their desires, thoughts, attitudes, hot buttons, beliefs, fears, interests etc. By knowing each other better, we can become closer through improved communication around points of agreement and shared interests.

4. Craft the appreciation habit

Flattery is not appreciation. It is a lie that is revealed pretty quickly. Honest and sincere appreciation is what resonates with us. Tell them exactly what they did that was good and it will be real. Appreciate people as a habit and do it in some detail that makes it credible.

We are the sum of our habits and that sum determines our success with others. Habits can be learnt and cultivated at any stage in life.

Some actions items going forward for good habit cultivation:

1. Don’t complain to or about others
2. Help others to want what you want
3. Become persuasive by being a good listener
4. Give honest, sincere appreciation