Episode #259: How To Build Strong Relationships With Our Buyers (Part Three)

Over Parts One and Two we have been exploring how to apply some human relations principles when we are working with our buyers. Buyers don’t buy products or services. They buy us first and the solution comes with us, as a package. If they don’t buy us, then the package can be the best one on the planet on paper, but they won’t bother to buy it because it doesn’t feel right because the trust is not there. Let’s look at three more powerful time tested universal principles to help us build buyer trust.

7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

“Some buyers are boring when they talk about themselves and I tune out, because I only want to hear stuff that will help me make this sale”. That doesn’t sound like a good approach to the buyer and using such selective listening skills can mean we miss important signals and information from the buyer. What are they saying with their eyes and body language? What are they not saying? We need our attentive and empathetic listening skills on full deployment when we talk with our buyers.

Remember we need to develop a genuine interest in the buyer as a person. How can we do that? Let’s find out what are some key areas of importance to them. We will discover things and experiences in common and that really helps to build our bonds together. Let’s use a memory linking technique - Nameplate, House, Family, Briefcase, Airplane, Tennis Racquet, Ideas. This technique by the way works for everyone you meet not just buyers, by the way. So how does this technique work?

Imagine the following: A huge silver nameplate is crashing into the roof of a completely pink house. Inside the pink house in the living room is a giant baby, like a sumo wrestler size in a diaper. The giant baby is playing with a work briefcase. Out of the briefcase the giant baby pulls out a model old style aircraft. The wings have propellers, except these are special propellers, because they are huge black tennis racquets. Threaded through the strings of the black tennis racquets are the rolled up pages of a newspaper. All we need to do is remember these connectors: Nameplate, House, Family, Briefcase, Airplane, Tennis Racquet, Newspaper.

So now we can ask buyers we are meeting for the first time where they live, how many people in their family, what has been their occupational experiences, do they travel much for work or pleasure, what are their hobbies and what is the latest news from their industry. We don’t necessarily ask these questions in this order or ask all of these questions. We certainly don’t make it sound like we are interrogating them or prying into their private affairs. We use tact and diplomacy when we engage them about their private interests.

Using some of these questions we will never be stuck on how to make small talk with our buyers. We can build trust with buyers through getting to know them by showing genuine interest in them. Ask the buyer questions using the Who, What, Where, When, Why, How formula. Who have they worked for previously, what was it like, where was their office, when did they start here, why did they choose this company they work for now and what do they like most about it?

People love to talk about themselves, so become a good listener: What excites them? What are their interests? Make finding out all about the buyer your mission and you are sure to find the buying conversation more effective. Remember we are trying to become their trusted business advisor, so the personal connection is critical.

8: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

What if you don’t know about the other person’s interests? No problem. Ask more questions – remember what we learned in Principle Seven about being a good listener. We may not be told immediately by the buyer what they are interested in, because they are still checking us out, to see if they can trust us. We need to gain their trust to allow us to dig in, to find out how we can help them.

By asking questions we have the chance to know more about them and that allows us to highlight similarities and things we have in common. This makes the trust building easier. By applying Principle Seven – listening – and Principle Eight – talking in terms of their interests, we will naturally make the other person feel heard, which makes them feel important:

9. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Notice how words like “honesty”, ”sincerity”, and being “genuine” run through these first nine Human Relations Principles. Without these, the principles are simply tools for manipulation. Buyers are not stupid and they see through manipulation. It is definitely not the way to win friends or positively influence them or make any sales. Most people go through their work days with very little praise, appreciation or recognition for what they are doing. If we can find some things to recognise and we do it in an honest, non-manipulative fashion, then we will build a strong connection of trust with the buyer.

How can you use the nine human relations principles we have covered so far, to develop friendships and relationships with buyers and have a positive influence on your business?