Episode #257: How To Build Strong Relationships With Our Buyers

If we want to succeed in sales, we want to build a strong relationship with our buyers. Having to run around and create a new buyer every single time is seriously hard work. Yes we must hunt, but we also want to farm. However, nowever, nHoot all buyers are easy to deal with. We might think they should change, so that they are easier to deal with. They should make it easier for us to sell them our solutions. Unfortunately, we can’t change others. We can only change how we think and behave. Doing so can in turn, have a positive impact on others. That’s the whole thinking behind Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People – it’s not about manipulation. It is not about us waiting for them to change. It’s about changing ourselves first and how we approach buyers.

If we approach buyers in the same way every time, we will always get the same counter reaction. This is Newtonian physics which we learnt at High School, “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”. In sales, if we change the angle of our approach to the buyer by just three degrees, then we will get a different counter reaction.

The point is we have to make that decision to change those three degrees on our side first, rather than expecting the buyer to change themselves to suit how we like things. There are some excellent, proven, time tested Human Relations Principles we can draw on to help us with this.

Human Relations Principles 1-3.

1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.

How many times have you criticised someone and had them admit they were wrong and tell you that you are completely right? It almost never happens because people rush to defend themselves and want to justify whatever it is they are doing. If we do criticise them knowing this, then all we are doing is setting ourselves up to fail to change them and even worse, create bad feelings between us. We might be tempted to criticize the buyers company for forcing us to have 120 day payment terms. Or by suddenly changing the order at the last moment. Or by leading us down the garden path and then buying from our competitor, because we were used to provided the compliance department with their required multiple bids. We need to deal with such negative buyer actions in a different way.

2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.

This sounds so simple, except that we don’t do it. It is not that we give fake or dishonest appreciation, because we don’t give any appreciation period. We expect everyone to be doing what they should be doing, but we show no appreciation of that. Then we wonder why it is hard to get people to cooperate with us? The consequence is that everyone is starved of appreciation.

They are also quite sensitive to any attempts at flattery and will dismiss it as dishonest words, somehow trying to trick them into doing something they don’t want to do. So, we have to identify something concrete and provable that they did and then praise that. For example, with a buyer, “Suzuki san, I appreciated the fact you got back to me on time with the information I requested, it really helped me meet the deadline. Thank you for your cooperation”. The praise is specific and true and Suzuki san is more likely to accept the praise as being honest.

3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

We all want lots of things. In fact, we spend almost 100% of our day focused on what we want. The issue though is when we need the cooperation of others. They are focusing on what they want too and are not interested in our needs or requirements. We need to switch our communication to focus on things which are also important to them.

What does the buyer as an individual, not the company representative, want? Do we know what that is and do we know it in detail? When we frame things in this way, they feel there is something positive for them and they are more motivated to agree to our ideas.

How do you need to change your communication style and content, to get the type of buyer cooperation you need, where the other person thinks this is in their buyer interests too?

Which principles are you going to use with your buyer today?