Episode #233: Confidence And Truth In Selling

Confidence sells. We all know this instinctively. If we meet a salesperson who seems doubtful about their solution or unconvinced it is the right thing for us, then we won’t buy from them. The flip side is the con man. They are brimming with brio, oozing charm and pouring on the surety. They are crooks and we can fall for their shtick, because we buy their confidence. They are usually highly skilled communicators as well, so the combo of massive confidence paired with fluency overwhelms us and we buy. We soon regret being conned but we are more cautious thereafter every time we meet a salesperson. By the way, there is a good chance we are that next salesperson.

So how do we navigate the rapids and the rocks here of coming across as confident and being skillful in describing our solution, without tripping the client’s internal con man alarm system”? Ultimately it comes down to your kokorogamae. This Japanese compound word can be translated as our “true intention”. What are we on about with this sales lark? Who are we showing up for – ourselves or the client’s best interests?

With con men it is always their self interest. They keep moving like a shark, swimming around constantly in motion, always looking for something to devour. If we sit down and examine ourselves we can make a decision. Are we in sales as a profession – yes or no? If the answer is no, then please get out of sales immediately. Go. Do something else, because the rest of us, who want to be professional, don’t want you polluting our waters. If the answer is “yes”, then examine what does “professional” actually mean to you?

We can get caught up in the finer points of sales technique, but what I am asking is please look at sales and ask what is my true intention here? If it is to serve the best interests of the buyer then we are getting on the right track. If the answer included to serve the buyer forever and to be aiming for the reorder, rather than the sale, then go to the top of the class. That mentality is the antithesis of the con man who knows they have to leave town after the sale, because they have cheated the buyer and can’t expect any further business – ever.

There is a successful businessman I know, who told me a story about his early days in sales. He sold an inferior product and the client would only come to realise that reality following the purchase, when the product itself was consumed. He had to have a big territory from his company, because he could never go back to a town he had sold into. I had liked him but after hearing that story I liked him a lot less. He knew the product was inferior and was not matching the claims he was making. He was confident and fluent. In other words, he was a con man. His kokorogamae was incorrect and I am wary of him because I am not sure about his mentality in business today. Maybe he has reformed, but I am in no hurry to find out at the cost of my own personal business.

If our true intention is correct, then being confident and fluent come into their own. The way we think about the business changes. We see the lifetime value of the business rather than a transaction. That means the effort we make to serve the client changes. The follow up is done in a different and superior way. The client feels our commitment to their success. We obviously ask particular questions which would only be of interest to someone who was committed to serving the buyer. We are thinking as if this was our business and we are looking for ways to build it higher. The questions around that aim are a lot different to discussions of the features of the widget and the needed logistics to supply it. We are thinking and talking beyond the initial sale.

So ask yourself – what is my kokorogamae? What types of questions am I asking – are they transactional or long term oriented? Am I communicating well enough my commitment to help this buyer succeed or am I only operating at a very superficial, order taker level? Am I thinking about potential buyer problems down the track and how to fix them? Have I wrapped my confidence up in truth? Record your presentation and have a good listen to it. Are you coming across as (A) a very basic provider of transactional solutions (B) a con man or (C) a true sales professional who has sorted out their kokorogamae? If the answer wasn’t (C) then there is a lot of work to be done on you by you!