Episode #231: Incorrect Assumptions And Fake News About First Impressions

I was watching an “expert” giving a series of video instruction modules on leading dispersed teams, now that many of us are working from home. I thought this will be useful and maybe I can pick up a few ideas for myself. It was a rather pedestrian affair I have to say and in one part, dangerously incorrect. The instructor claims to have a Ph.D., so presumably has done some major original research to warrant that degree. Shoveling misinterpretations of research done by other academics into the public domain about first impressions is quite shocking. It is even more jarring when that instructional course commands a payment of our hard won cash.

We have many opportunities to create a first impression. Meeting someone for the first time at a networking event is a mini-presentation of your personal and professional brand. Talking to people at the venue, before you go up to the podium to give your talk after the luncheon is another example. Appearing on audio or video live stream and in recorded content are also in that same category. Obviously presenting on stage or virtually are the arenas given the most attention for building first impressions. Let’s take a look at all of these in turn and also put our “expert’s” fake news to the sword.

Meeting someone in a crowded noisy networking environment is a tough one. Fortunately in Japan, we exchange our meishi or business cards, so that we have the name and details about what they do. Counterintuitively, in these situations we should say little. Many thrusters imagine they need to dominate the air, hog the conversation and talk continuously about themselves. To build a solid first impression, start with a smile when you meet the person as you shake hands or bow and keep smiling as you hand over the meishi. Smiling implies warmth, friendliness and confidence. We like all of those in strangers.

Next ask them about what they do, why they do it, how long they have done it, where are they from etc. Why? We want to hear about them. In this process they feel good to talk about themselves and to respond to our questions about their glorious past, present or future. As they speak, we can often find commonalities that make it easier for us to connect as strangers. Also, as we learn more about them, we are in a better position to appreciate who they are.

When it is our turn, we should be brief and try to draw out our shared experiences if we have found any. We should also get back to getting them to talk about themselves as soon as possible. Their first impression about us will be someone who is considerate, polite, interested in them and a “good conversationalist”.

When we are on Clubhouse we are live, so there can be no Take Two. This is a one shot chance to speak to the whole world during that session. Again, smile when you are speaking. The audience cannot see the smile, but they can feel it. Don’t go on Clubhouse without a plan. Talking about the first thing that pops into your head is why most of the conversation on Clubhouse is rubbish. Have a small number of bullet points you will discuss so that you can navigate the audience through your content. Rehearse the points beforehand so you eliminate ums and ahs, hesitations, monotone delivery and a thousand other horrible deviations from a good talk. Start with confidence and speak more loudly than normal to overcome the limitations of the platform. Get a timer and set it to three minutes maximum, so you are forced to be clear and concise.

Live in person requires us to carefully choreograph the first few minutes of the talk. Get there early and check all of the tech. Have someone else load your slide deck or fire it up for you at the start of the talk. You want to be standing in the middle of the stage away from the laptop, engaging your audience from the beginning of your impressive introduction by the MC. Start with a teaser opening. Some comment which will break into the already packed minds and attention spans of the audience and have them sit up and listen carefully to what you have to say. Next, introduce yourself and thank the organisers, before you get into the speech proper.

Recorded podcasts and videos can be edited, so our first impression sins can be washed away in the editing suite. Live streaming though is a different story. The start of these live video sessions is always a nightmare. When you are doing it all solo, it is very hard to time the start properly and so it is easy to appear awkward and clunky. Some systems are live as soon as you hit the record button and others have a brief count down until they start. Having you all set up ready to go by having someone else hit the start button is best. With Zoom calls etc., you can keep the audience in the waiting room until you are ready to go, so that is more easily controlled.

The fake news of the instructor mentioned earlier is that our first impression is formed 55% from dress, 38% from voice tone and 7% from what we say. You may have heard these dubious numbers bandied about before. Professor Albert Mehrabian, who published this research in the 1960s, added an important caveat to those numbers. This important qualification was entirely missing from the content the supposed “expert” was touting. Mehrabian said these numbers apply only when what we say is incongruent with how we say it. Our facial expression and body language have to match up with the content of what we are saying. If it doesn’t, our audience gets distracted and do not focus on the message anymore. They are more consumed by how we dress and how we sound.

First impressions in any context should be planned rather than left to random happenstance. This is your personal and professional brand we are talking about here and they are much too important to treat lightly or be compromised. Beware of non-expert “experts”. The barrier to entry for offering online learning coursesis zero and often that is the value of the content too.