Episode #143: Man, Your Monotone Is Killing Me

Normally we expect Japanese speakers to be boring, because their language is a monotone and so they apply the same formula when speaking in either Japanese or English. That is okay in a way, because it is a cultural thing. However, for foreigners there is no excuse. If you are giving your talk in a monotone, expect to lose your audience. Forty minutes of listening to some speaker’s monotone delivery is enough to make most people suicidal. Regardless of how gripping the topic, the grip of slumber proves more powerful and relentless.

This was me recently. I turned up at the appointed time for the talk, all full of vim and vigour, eagerly awaiting the unveiling of this troubling topic. The speaker came with a grand resume, a prince among princes on this topic. It wasn’t princely. He wasn’t even the jester. It was more like a lecture from the hooded hangman or the grim executioner.

My eye lids grew heavy as he droned on and on. Seated unwisely toward the front, I struggled to observe the common courtesies, as my eyes willed to close. It was excruciating. I was sitting there thinking, why is such a vital topic being garrotted here in full view of everyone, by the way he delivering this talk? What is it about this delivery that is driving me to sleep?

I think there were three factors at play in particular. The monotone itself is a noise we often refer to as white noise. Your refrigerator often gives off this low hum. It is there all the time. Well not your Japanese refrigerator, because the living spaces are are too small here to put up with that, so Japanese technology ensures they are a silent as the tomb. I mean your big western model, in your big kitchen, in your big house. The speaker’s monotone mimics this white noise that has no highs and lows to keep us interested. I don’t recommend you telling any speakers soon that their talk was as exciting as the white noise of your refrigerator, but you are certainly allowed to think that.

The refrigerator monotone also has the feature of being continuous. This was our speaker too. He just warbled away for the entire time with almost no pauses. Pattern interrupters like pauses are good for the brain, to keep audience attention on what you are talking about. They are like little warning buzzes that something has changed and we should pay attention to the speaker. Pauses are translators for us. We can take a moment to translate what was said into our own understanding. Continuous talking ensures each idea is drowned by the succeeding wave of the next idea.

There are no key words in a monotone. Every sentence has equal value and every word in a sentence is tremendously democratic and the same as every other word. I like democracy in political systems but not so keen on this in speeches. I want key words highlighted by voice modulation. I have just finished narrating the audio version of my next book Japan Business Mastery. I don’t have a great DJ style baritone voice. In fact, after 48 years of doing all that yelling, the kiai, in karate training, people tell me I have a rather husky voice. Sadly no one says “sexy husky voice”, they just nominate it is husky. Nevertheless, I don’t ask better qualified professionals to do it, because they won’t know which are the key words I want to hit harder than others. This isolating out particular words for attention, is what makes the talk more interesting. We are guiding the listener along a path we have predetermined about how they should think about what we are saying.

It was painful. Talks shouldn’t be painful should they. We go to be informed or persuaded or motivated or entertained and possibly all four if the speaker is really good. Check yourself by taping your delivery. Are you using voice modulation, pauses and punching out key words for emphasis? If you are not, then bring some pillows for the audience members, because that will wind up being your most valuable contribution to the proceedings.

Action Steps:

1. Add voice modulation to your delivery. If you are Japanese, then add in strength or take it out or add speed or slow it down, for variety in your delivery.
2. Use pauses to help your audience process what you have said.
3. Hit key words you want to emphasise for your listeners, to draw them into your way of thinking