Episode #489: Four Strategies For Building Confidence In Being A New Leader

We work long, diligently and hard. We are recognised for our devotion and the quality of our output and get promoted. Instead of being solely responsible for our own results, we are now in charge of our colleagues and we are accountable for their results too. If we stride around like the boss and are bossy, we are likely to hit some turbulence from the led. If we are a cream puff, walking around on egg shells, we may be ignored and not taken seriously. Who knew this leadership gig was so tricky?

Imposter syndrome, self-doubt, fraudster misgivings are all crowding our mind as we try to navigate this new role. We have to be confident without appearing too confident. Given we are not confident at all, this is a hard needle to thread. Here are four strategies for helping to build our confidence as a new leader.

1. Self-Acceptance

Perfectionism is a curse for the new leader, yet it is a natural goal, as we want to prove that the trust which has been placed in us, has not been misguided. We get into comparison-itis where we see ourselves not measuring up to the abilities of experienced, senior leaders. We feel a thousand beady eyes boring holes into us, as everyone observes how we go about this new role and we worry we are not matching their expectations. We go straight to our weaknesses and skill gaps and we focus on those.

What we have forgotten is that we got promoted because we have ability and that ability didn’t suddenly rise from the sea on Day One of our working career. We have been building up our experience and skills over many years and we should expect that becoming a seasoned and capable leader will also take time. We know how to produce results for ourselves and so we probably have a reasonable idea on how to help our team members reach their targets. If we honestly believe that in the success of our team members lies our own success, we will have the right mindset. When the team feel we are working to help them succeed their attitude will become positive and we don’t have to try and pretend we are someone we are not. We can be ourselves, relax and accept that given some time we can be effective as the leader of the team and we can confident that we can get there.

2. Self-Respect

We all tend to live our lives like that Japanese art called bonseki where miniature landscapes are created out of sand and then the whole thing is thrown away. We don’t take the time to appreciate our achievements, because we have cast those aside and are now on to the next big thing, always seeking the grasp the brass ring. However, when we reflect on our successes in our lives to date, our perspective about who we are and what we are capable of changes.

We start to see patterns about our work ethic, our people skills, our communication capabilities and a myriad other elements, which will become the critical building blocks to make sure we are a successful leader. We realise we have these elements already within us and now we are just pointing them in a new direction. We have a strong enough grounding in our work careers to establish a base on which we can build further. That realisation is a long way from the self-doubt and paralysis we may have felt on being told we are going to have this new responsibility. It is important we shift our mindset to the positive and the history of achievements we have accumulated so far.

3. Take Risks

One of the dangers of getting promoted is you can also get fired more easily. Before you were in total charge of your results and you could devote your time and effort to hitting your targets. Now you find you have actually very little control over the production of results by your team. In Year One you can keep doing your work and be the biggest contributor to the team results. You can probably keep this up just in Year Two. By Year Three the targets will have moved up to a point where you alone cannot do enough reach them.

When you start missing team targets, the big bosses conclude you were not up to snuff in this new role and they replace you with someone else and the cycle starts again.

You realise too late you should have been spending your time helping the team to get better, to hit their targets, to produce the results themselves. You have been doing the fishing for them, instead of teaching them how to catch fish. It is a risk to step up, but we have to reduce that risk by approaching the leadership role in such a way that we are working through the team to reach results.

4. Self-Talk

Self-doubt generates a certain self-talk which is negative and not helping. We need to get control of our inner dialogue pretty smartly and really monitor the quality of the thoughts rattling around inside our brains. A very good way to achieve this is to start watching, listening to and reading content which helps us to feel more confident about ourselves.

Search out the self-help gurus, the motivators, the boosters and start absorbing their messages. Toxicity loves a vacuum and if we don't fill our minds with the right content, then the rust of self-doubt will start to creep in. We cannot allow that to happen, so from the very day we are told we are now a leader, we need to start assembling our protective walls for keep our self-talk and mindset positive.

These four strategies will definitely make a difference in establishing the inner-confidence that you can become a successful leader and in time, a great leader.