Episode #406: Are You Authentically Aggressive Or Assertive As A Leader

In today’s business world, leaders need to be “authentic” leaders. We have all come across this somewhere, endorsed by self-proclaimed gurus and prophets. I often ponder what does that actually mean? I am sure all of those Japanese leaders screaming abuse at their staff, when they make mistakes, are being authentic. They are authentically terrible, dictatorial, abusive leaders. Actually this worked like a charm for a very long time in postwar Japan. You joined a company for life and there was only one route for those who changed jobs and that was down into a netherworld of strife, insecurity and lower salary. In the goode olde days you had to dodge the flying ashtrays thrown at you by your authentically enraged boss, endure their publicly delivered abuse and keep going. Yamaichi Securities going down in 1997, made changing jobs mid-career respectable for the first time for those who became unemployed through no fault of their own.

Can a boss be passive at the other end of the scale? No. Bosses have to lead the charge, set the direction, check on the milestones, monitor the performance and drive results. They have to praise those who are doing a fantastic job or have a difficult conversation with those who are failing. Where is the line between aggression and assertion though. One boss’s idea of assertion is aggressive power harassment from an employee’s perspective. In years past this didn’t matter much, because there were plenty of people to go around and it was “my way or the highway”. Today, we are rapidly running out of young people. There is a temporary pause in hostilities in the talent war here in Japan, which will shortly resume, once Covid is brought under control.

Aggressive bosses are self centered, concerned about their career and how they look to their bosses. Assertive bosses will stand up for their team and themselves vis-à-vis the big bosses and sharp elbowed thrusting rivals. They have a 360 degree view of what is going on and how actions affect the whole organisation, rather than focused on the needs of one aggressive individual.

Aggressive bosses are often lashing out because they cannot control the stress and pressure they are under. They play a toxic version of “pass the parcel” and take it out on their subordinates. Assertive leaders know how to keep calm. They have techniques for handling the stress. They realise that their dark, erratic, satanic moods can destroy the motivation and equilibrium of the team. They are the swan bosses paddling like crazy under the waterline but moving elegantly through the days no matter what is on.

Aggressive bosses believe their job is to tell errant staff “how it is” and be very blunt and direct in their speech. Assertive bosses can be honest and direct with subordinates but the language they choose doesn’t become inappropriate or demotivating. They know they need this person to recover and get back into the fray and try again, even though their self-confidence is shattered by their poor work output. When your young staff are useless you can’t easily replace them, so your job becomes to help them become useful.

Aggressive bosses often have deep underlying poor self esteem, which is why they lash out and whip people verbally. They need to establish their supreme dominance over the team and fear is their weapon of choice. Assertive leaders have a confident self-image and good awareness of their strengths and weakness. They are at home in their own skin and don’t feel the need to constantly prove themselves or beat up their staff. Rather they are looking for ways to further develop their team. They know they are stuck right where they are, until they can groom successors which will free them up for promotion to bigger jobs. Every firm needs leaders. The person who is the leadership factory is going to be given more accountability within the organisation.

I think words like “authentic” need to have more nuanced meanings. What we are really talking about is someone who is honest, transparent, confident, considerate and a builder of people, because they believe that is the best thing for everyone. Being an “authentic “bully in this era in Japan, will be a career ender once the top leadership work out this person is a sieve, rapidly leaking talent out of the organisation to rival firms.