Episode #189: Hey Donald Trump, Try "Winning Friends and Influencing People" Instead

Donald Trump’s phone call with Malcolm Turnbull, Australia’s Prime Minister was major news. The tastier parts of that conversation were leaked from the American side, but the style and language reported seems to be in keeping with Donald Trump’s style, so they are probably true. Did he have to take such an aggressive approach with Malcolm? Could he have dealt with his concerns over bringing people into the US in a different way?

The issue here is Trump doesn’t want to honour the people swap agreement previously made between Obama and Turnbull. His choice to criticise Turnbull over the phone was a poor one. Dale Carnegie came up with 30 Human Relations Principles and Donald Trump would do much better, if he followed them. As Dale Carnegie noted, you get more cooperation with honey than vinegar.

Principle number one is “don’t criticise, condemn or complain”. The thinking behind this principle is to take into account human psychology. When Trump criticises Turnbull, he generates ill will and destroys the relationship. The trust is broken, the willingness to cooperate is diminished. You may get compliance in this case, because the US is much bigger than Australia, but the hearts and minds are lost. The willingness to go the extra mile gets nullified.

This is the same in companies when the boss criticises staff for under performance. When on the receiving end, they become defensive and start justifying what they did or didn't do. They go around telling everyone the criticism is unfair and unwarranted. Their loyalty erodes quickly. Their sense of engagement with the organisation is rapidly reduced. If you are not engaged, why would you care less about being innovative for the sake of the business?

There are many others ways to get the result you want.

Trump could have used principle number 30, “make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest” and principle number 25, “ask questions instead of giving direct orders”. He could have used principle number 28, “give the person a fine reputation to live up to”.

Trump could have said, “Look Malcolm, I know you are a smart guy. You didn’t get a million from Daddy to start in business like I did and yet you have become very wealthy and successful, all off your own hard efforts. I need your smarts. I have a problem here. I have just announced we are not going to take any people from Iran and Iraq and five other countries for a few months and yet most of these people on Nauru are from those very same countries. If I take them, I will lose face. Help me out here, you are a clever guy, what can I do?”.

I am sure Malcolm Turnbull would of his own volition come up with some workable ideas. He is a smart guy, he is a self-made man, he is very rich and successful. As a lawyer, he did gain world fame through his defeat of the British Government’s case in the “Spy Catcher Trial”.

Being the sponsor of the ideas, he would drive them through the Australian domestic political process and fix the problem to Trump’s satisfaction. The processing might quietly slow down to taper with the period of the ban. Or the whole process might be delayed until the ban has been lifted. Or, miraculously, only non-Muslims get through the vetting process and proceed to the US. There are a number of solutions here to solve Trump’s issues. These could have been reached with positive cooperation, through using the Dale Carnegie Human Relations Principles.

Instead, the world sees Trump criticising little Aussie. In the workplace the other staff see how you treat people. They know that one day that verbal tongue lashing will be aimed at them and they don’t like the prospect.

So, if you are running a business or are running a team and you look at Donald Trump and say, “well obviously criticising people is the way to get things done”, think again.

Trump’s methods won’t create the loyalty that America will need. In your world of business, you won’t get the staff engagement and loyalty you want either. Dale Carnegie published “How To Win Friends And Influence People” in 1936. There is no excuse really, the information is out there. Dale Carnegie’s training is still going 105 years later, so it obviously works and it works in over 100 countries around the world.

Hello to Donald and all business leaders around the world - read “How To Win Friends And Influence People”. The long-term solutions to your people issues are all laid out for you in that book.