Episode #184: 2017 - Good or Bad?

There are many starts to a year. Some are based on financial years, zodiacs and calendar years. Generally speaking though, January 1st signals a new start and we are re-connected with our better selves. Those extra kilos we need to shed, getting down to the gym more regularly, eating more healthily, drinking less booze and all the other typical personal and work aspirations we embrace for a better new year to come are commonplace goals. All excellent stuff and hopefully this time we will carry through on our brilliant starts.

How about setting a serious goal though? Why don’t we make a commitment to stop complaining in 2017? This means a total overhaul of our brain. We have a lot of concerns, stresses and worries in our daily lives, so complaining comes very naturally. It doesn’t take us anywhere though. We just focus on something that is either already done and irretrievable or we express some concern over something that might happen in the future. Well it might not happen too. Perhaps we can take some steps and make sure it doesn’t happen or if it does happen, we can lessen the impact? Just complaining about it is basically pointless.

Why don’t we resolve to make 2017 a “complain free zone”. This means we have to re-think about how we see the world around us. We have to have fresh eyes for old problems. We have to move from having our usual “pity parties” to being proactive. When we decide we won’t complain, we are taking on more accountability. We are saying we are in the fix not the dither business. We have to switch our language from negative to positive. We need to embrace the mantra of IWWCW or “In What Way Can We” and deal with whatever is causing us grief and hardship.

If we take away the complaining refuge, we need to mentally move to a new place – a land of the possible and the positive. Now this requires discipline obviously, because we are all whiners at some point. This perspective shift has two dimensions. One is internal – our self talk around what is happening in our own world. The other is related to our dealings with others. We often get frustrated with other people and we complain to them and/or about them. This does no good whatsoever. The individuals in question often become defensive, usually reject what we say and sometimes even feel required to counterattack or seek revenge at a later point.

We are better off to find other ways to communicate our concerns or dissatisfactions with others. We might be inclined to tell it as it is. We feel better because we were righteous. The only problem is the other party feels offended, insulted and righteous about justifying whatever it is they are doing that annoys us. Allowing others to keep face, being tactful, indirect, subtle and talking about our own failings first, are all tried and true methods of dealing with the insufficiencies of others.

If we fix our self-talk and shift to the positive, we will have a much better 2017. If we stop complaining about others, we will have a spectacular new year. None of this is easy but the rewards are definitely there. Are we all perfect and can just switch out of old habits with a mere snap of the fingers? No, so let’s not beat ourselves up if we occasionally slip up. Rather let’s keep working on establishing new habits that will work for us. Each time we truncate our negative self-talk or we refrain from giving some irritating transgressor both barrels, we have made progress. It takes 21-30 days to cast a new habit, so we have to be patient and just keep going with it. Imagine how life would be if we were able to eliminate complaining from our lives? A worthy goal for sure. Best wishes for your success in making this a reality.